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When Doug and I weren’t driving around the city, we were in the school library. We didn’t do much schoolwork there, but we were cerebral most of the time and without any conscious effort of being so. There was a lack of pretentiousness that even today is still striking to me. I never got the sense Doug wanted to prove anything but honestly wanted to listen and discuss. This gave me the freedom to respond without any thought of trying to impress him.

When I think of what this was like, it almost seems like something out of a movie. There’s a montage in my head of us going through the stacks, smiling and laughing, and pulling out books while giving one liners to each other of what we thought of the work in our hands. I learned that Doug loved Mark Twain, Shakespeare and Flannery O’Connor among others, but mostly how he was fascinated with the human condition. Just as I was. People and what they did, and what made them do what they did, and how that was captured on paper were the chief topics of conversation.

When things have been rough between us, as they can be between all couples, I’ve replayed the montage and remembered Doug is still the same person, and I am still the same person.

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Doug needs a kidney transplant. He was recently added to the deceased donor list and has a wait of up to five years. But he has been advised a living donor kidney is best. So I come with this blog to make others aware and to encourage him. For more info, please see the “Kidney Donation” page.

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